


never not

by yourmoon



Category: Lovelyz, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23608003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourmoon/pseuds/yourmoon
Summary: For as long as he lives, and as long as he loves, he will never not think about Myungeun.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Park Myungeun | Jin
Kudos: 8





	never not

**Author's Note:**

> a spin-off of half a heart.  
> (song to listen to: Lauv - Never Not)

“Why do we have to go the old-fashioned way when in this period of time, we have an advanced technology called laptop which allows us to type our essay down and definitely save our energy and time rather than writing it down like this until our hands feel numb?” Seungcheol grumbled, putting stress in each word he wrote on his last assignment for Film Studies class.

The corner of Wonwoo’s lips quirked up. Seungcheol clearly made a point. It was their last week before finals came up. A week when their lecturers found an excuse to flood them with a dozen types of assignments as the prize to pay if they wanted to get a straight A. But their Film Studies Professor was being ridiculous, two pages of essay needed to be written by this week. Yes,  _ written _ . He didn’t allow his students to use laptops or computers. For whatever reason, Seungcheol and Wonwoo also had no idea.

Wonwoo heard Seungcheol heaved a sigh and put his pen down. At the corner of his eyes, he saw Seungcheol reached out a pack of cigarettes on a table before finally leaned back. One habit Wonwoo had learned from Seungcheol which only meant one thing: he started to get frustrated.

“What time is it?” Seungcheol asked as he casually put a cigarette between his lips. He ransacked his bag for a lighter. A curse slipped out of his lips as he couldn’t find his favorite red cherry lighter on his bag, prompting Wonwoo to tear his focus away from his essay and look up to see Seungcheol’s pouty and annoyed face.

“It’s in your pocket.”

Seungcheol frowned at him as he reached into his pocket and fished out his lighter. 

“What time is it?” Seungcheol mumbled once again, lighting his cigarette. 

Wonwoo grabbed his phone and unlocked it. “Half past 4.” He replied. Wonwoo always put his phone on do not disturb mode whenever he was studying. There were some messages from his mother; asking him to buy milk when he got back; five messages from Soonyoung; bragging that he would go to the bookstore this evening, asking him if there was anything he wanted to buy. Wonwoo typed a quick reply to him before putting his phone on the table. He was about to continue his essay when suddenly Seungcheol said.

“It’s been a month.”

“Huh?” Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He waited patiently as he watched Seungcheol took a deep puff and exhaled the smoke into the air.

“Your home screen.”

Like pressing a slow-motion button, everything around Wonwoo seemed to move slowly. He didn’t need to unlock his phone to know what’s behind the screen. Instead of answering Seungcheol, Wonwoo chose to gulp down the rest of his cold coffee. It tasted bitter—though he swore he asked the barista to put two spoons of sugar in it. But it still tasted bitter.

Seungcheol took another deep puff before finally decided to press his cigarette down into the ashtray and watch the flame died. “What happened?” 

Wonwoo stared at his phone glumly—a collage photo of him and Myungeun in a photo booth on Valentine Day, the first Valentine they got to spend time together, vividly unfold in Wonwoo’s mind.

“She doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Come on. You don’t know about that.”

A memory of Myungeun laughing her heart out two weeks ago, the first time he saw her after the breakup, crashed upon him. Exhaling the air in his lungs before it became too suffocating, he muttered, “I am afraid I do.”

Wonwoo didn’t usually eat his lunch. He liked to take away a chocolate crème puff at a bakery near the campus and go to the library. Or, when he didn’t feel like reading or studying, he would go to campus park and hang out with his friends—except for that noon, when he casually chatted with his friends at the campus cafeteria. Soonyoung dragged him there with an excuse that he didn’t want to eat his lunch alone. They met Jun and Jihoon in the hallway to the cafeteria, so technically speaking, Soonyoung didn’t need him anymore. But Wonwoo stayed for the free food (he gave Jihoon a credit for buying a bunch of snacks).

Wonwoo’s eyes suddenly drifted away from his friends to focus on a movement he caught in his peripherals. Myungeun walked into the cafeteria, her blonde hair was replaced by a shoulder-length dark brown hair. She cut and dyed her hair, he noticed. The soft pink cashmere sweater hugged her tiny figure soft and closely. She wore skinny jeans that made her look even skinnier—if Wonwoo’s subconscious mind didn’t remind him that they were no longer together, he planned to give Myungeun a speech urging her to eat more later on. It was a surge of relief that washed over him at first. Seeing Myungeun for the first time after they broke up was like taking a load off his mind. But it didn’t stay long, not until a male student he didn’t recognize came into view. His hand touched her elbow lightly, guiding her to churros stall. Wonwoo saw him drawing closer to Myungeun, whispering something to her ear which caused her to chuckle. Myungeun’s hand flew to cover her mouth as she laughed, a habit she was unaware of doing every time she laughed. It was when the male student suddenly patted her head that Wonwoo stopped chewing his potato chips. There was an alarm blasting loudly inside Wonwoo’s mind. It was deafening that he could barely hear the boisterousness of the cafeteria. He could feel his blood boiling dangerously, a fire within him burning away all reason and good feeling. His fists clenched on the table. Wonwoo knew himself too well that he needed to walk out the room before he got a chance to punch something, or someone.

It was never easy for Wonwoo either. That night, it took everything in him to walked out of the café and let himself drenched in the downpour, wishing it could wash the pain and memories away. It was never the same for him every since Myungeun was no longer in his life. Everything he did reminded him of her. Wonwoo would do groceries shopping and Myungeun suddenly popped up on his mind, grabbing a couple boxes of cereal, a carton of milk and a jar of strawberry jam; “Myungeun’s Must Have Items for Breakfast”, she sang as she put them all on a trolley that he pushed. 

Wonwoo would sit at his balcony, allowing 8 a.m sun shone down on him as he continued to read, and Myungeun unexpectedly entered his mind, hovering behind Wonwoo before finally draping her arms over his shoulders.

“Wonwoo,” she whispered, resting her chin on his shoulder. 

Wonwoo just let out a lazy, “Hm?” eyes still focused on his book, flipping the page.

“Let’s build a lego house.” 

“No.”

“Why?” she whined, without looking up, Wonwoo knew she pouted.

“You’re just bored, Myungeun. Do something else.”

“Let’s watch a movie then!”

“I’m reading.”

Myungeun huffed, her warm breath fanned his neck. After not getting the response she wanted from Wonwoo, she bit his shoulder for a split second before drawing back and going inside.

“Wonwoo is no fun. Jeon Wonwoo has no jam.” Myungeun chanted.

Wonwoo let out a deep sigh. He bookmarked his book and walked in, knowing that he could never read peacefully whenever Myungeun was around. As Myungeun saw him giving up, she threw her head back and laughed. It was a contagious one, for Wonwoo couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s so unfair. You know I can’t say ‘no’ to you.” He said, throwing a cushion at Myungeun who stuck her tongue out at him, teasing.

Even at this moment, where he sat with Seungcheol at their favorite coffee shop, every corner of the street, of the coffee shop, reminded him of Myungeun. They would sit inside, unlike Seungcheol and him who sat outside, in the smoking area. Myungeun was a non-coffee drinker. She would order a glass of blueberry milkshake and a slice of Oreo cheesecake. Wonwoo would drown in his assignments and Myungeun, being a supportive and understanding girlfriend she was, would just sit still, or sometimes she would take a photo of him. When he asked her why, she would say, “As a receipt. If your mom asks me where and what you are doing.”

Seungcheol cleared his throat, turning Wonwoo’s attention back at him. “Judging from the way you haven’t changed your home screen, the way you spaced out after I brought up her name. I can draw a conclusion.”

He leaned forward to reach his cigarette, proceeding to lit another one. “You still love her, don’t you?”

Wonwoo met Seungcheol’s dark brown eyes, “ _ Hyung _ ,” he paused as he sucked in all the air his lungs would allow.

“I never stopped.”


End file.
